“Hey man, nice shot”

via Daily Prompt: Filter

Wow, it’s almost like whoever is thinking of these Daily Prompts is doing so just for me. FILTER. What an apropros word for me to write to today as I head in to interview for you know, the job I’ve already been doing for months. A nice strong filter will come in handy. I am by no means one of those people without one but I am Italian. And in these moments when I feel slighted, insulted, aggravated and just downright annoyed, sometimes I tend to speak my mind, how I can put it, a little too passionately. My cousin describes being hardcore Italian by calling it “passion to the extreme”. It is who I am and I wouldn’t have it any other way. This whole experience with work has opened some sort of door for me. The doorway between fear and courage as I have written about recently. I am leaving the room of fear and stepping through to go live with courage. I hope to translate it to every facet of my life moving forward. Why shouldn’t I say what’s on my mind? Why shouldn’t I tell the girl I like her, even though she has a girlfriend? Why shouldn’t I? Ah, but you see, I am not there…yet. I am still standing in the doorway, with THAT filter firmly in place.
Filter

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Wish I Was Ocean Size

via Daily Prompt: Ten

Ten. The first thing to come to mind is Pearl Jam’s first record, entitled “Ten”. It came out in the early 90’s and helped usher in the “Grunge Era” along with Nirvana, Soundgarden, Mudhoney and the like. This album was huge. Everyone listened to it. Everywhere. It was one of those “impact albums”. I had already experienced that and to this day I stand by my choice of the Record That Changed My Life. That record is “Nothing’s Shocking” by Jane’s Addiction. It was early college, I had an amazing group of friends and this record did not leave the turntable for months and months and months. Having come from 12 years of Catholic School, I remember those first days of college as being in a perpetual state of having my mind blown. I couldn’t believe that kids were smoking right in front of teachers for God’s sake! Let alone the late night, candle burning, whiskey drinking, sexuality blurring salons on Westland Ave. It was whole new world for this girl, one that I relished and absorbed with every cell in my body and soul. Finally, I found my people, my being, myself. I still listen to “Nothing’s Shocking” and when I do, I close my eyes and let myself time travel right back to those days, still fresh, burned in my mind forever.
Ten

I’m Still Standing

via Daily Prompt: Devastation

The devastation really sucks, it really does. Being in it, the aftermath, the aftermath of the aftermath… But the thing to remember is that once you get through it, you are through it. And if you can get through it, you must remember that you now have the strength (and the confidence) to get through it again. A few days ago, I wrote about my devastation. Actually, I didn’t. I wrote that it was a different blog for a different day. So while we are on the topic I might as well dip into it just a little bit. My journals got stolen. There is no other way to say it. Someone broke in to my house, grabbed a duffle bag that had 20 years of my life’s work in it and ran. Devastating. I didn’t write for 7 years. Now here I am, thanks to the Daily Prompt, writing. I got fired from my dream job. Yes, embarrassing, humiliating, all beyond my control, being at the mercy of a crazy CEO who seemingly overnight had it out for me. Devastating. My best friend died of cancer. DEVASTATING. This was my life in quick succession from Sept. 2009 to Feb. 2011. The aftermath of all of this devastation lasted a few years longer. Let’s be clear, I will never get over losing Stacy, I will only learn to cope with the loss. But, here we are in 2017 and I am still standing. I have made it through. And while I am certainly hoping there is no more devastation coming my way, this is life after all. So if and when it happens, I am ready.
Devastation

Goodbye, Fear

via Daily Prompt: Exposure

It’s a funny thing about exposure. When people get exposed they react in all kinds of ways. Some go run and hide. Some get defiant. Some blame others. The thing to remember is to stay confident in your own being when you run headlong into someone cowering under the light. They will work it out eventually and it behooves you to just stay out of the way. I hate to say it but lately my blog is turning into a dirge about work. But something has shifted lately. I don’t know if it’s my age or my new found kickboxing confidence or the fact that I have just reached the point of no return. That wonderful, wonderful place of putting fear aside. I’ve been saying to myself, if I survived the roller coaster hell ride of 2009-2011 (which is another blog for another day) I can survive anything. And it’s true. At this point in my life, it’s time to acknowledge the fact that if there is one thing I am good at, it’s perseverance. Hello, Taurus! It’s like all of a sudden all of my life experiences have added up and I can finally feel the sum of its parts. Courage.
Exposure

Stickin’ It To The Man.

via Daily Prompt: Overworked

Oh, hooooooow appropriate! Tell me if this has ever happened to you. You’re cruising along just fine in your job then new guy comes along. It’s new guy’s job to raise money. So now all the people at the top have dollar signs in their eyes and when new guy decides to push you around and you push back, all of a sudden YOU’RE the one taken to task for it. You’ve been at the job for 5 years, he’s been here for 6 months, throwing punches and stepping on toes the whole way. NOW all of a sudden, new guy decides he wants to create a new position, all the while co-opting you to do the work in the meantime. Then, big boss who has decided not to have your back after said 5 years of hard work, decides that you need to interview for said job, you know, the job that you’ve already been doing for 2 months. Now, here’s what remains to be seen. If you don’t get the job that you’ve already been doing, you will lose said job and join the ranks of the unemployed. I don’t want to be overworked anymore. I want to WRITE.
Overworked

Beauty Saves, Every Time.

via Daily Prompt: Aesthetic

Nothing makes me happier than paying attention to aesthetic! It comes into play for me every single day. How the books are arranged on the shelf. How my albums are displayed next to the turntable. The lighting. The aromas. The design. It gives me great pleasure to live in an environment where everything is pleasing to the eye. For me, it is part of my plan for surrounding myself with beauty where ever and however I can. For beauty is what makes it all bearable as we vault around the sun fending off the never ending stream of other people’s bullshit.
Aesthetic

Why, yes I will!

via Daily Prompt: Invitation

Yes, I would love to take this invitation to proactively change my life. Sometimes when you continue to ignore the subtle hints the Universe is giving you, it resorts to hitting you over the head with it. Hence, “when bad/unexpected/unruly/uncomfortable shit” happens. That is the Universe saying “C’mon man!” I am trying to tell you something!!! Hence, I will take that invitation Universe. I have been mulling things over for quite some time, too much time. Now you have taken a hard stand and I get it. I really do. As I reach middle age, all of a sudden it is all closing in on me. Time is running out. It doesn’t feel that way day to day but oh, it’s happening. And now I am well aware, time really is of the essence. I have a sense of urgency to step out of my comfort zone. Finally. I mean, I blew a kiss at my kickboxing instructor after class yesterday. LOL What the hell was that??? A good sign, that’s what.
Invitation

Picking Up the Slack

via Daily Prompt: Capable

Why is it that the capable people always take the hit for the incapable people? Have you ever noticed this? All of the responsible ones have to carry the load for the irresponsible jackasses of the world. And the worst thing about it? The slackers don’t even realize that this is happening. They roll through life spouting their “whatevers” and “who cares” all the while leaving a trail behind them of the wreckage of their laziness. Kind of like when you’re in the office and the doosh who never shows up gets a promotion over you, the one who does. Is it this weird psychological thing? Is it just the way of the world? The strong ones are here to carry the load. That’s what they do. The onus is on them to keep it all going and to keep it all together because that’s why they are here. They are the glue, the rock. And you only notice them when they are gone.

Capable

Someday Starts Today

via Daily Prompt: Someday

Someday I’m not gonna put up with this shit anymore. Someday I’m gonna say what I mean, really. Someday I’m going to start taking risks. With my words. With my actions. And most urgently, with my heart. Someday I’m going to walk away and start living for what I want to do. What I want to be. What I want to see. Someday I’m gonna say Fuck the Man and finally do my own thing like I’ve always wanted to do. Someday I’m going to put down the fear and walk toward courage. Someday I’m gonna throw it all to the wind and give up this Taurean bullshit. Someday starts today.

Someday

How to Get over the Cling?

via Daily Prompt: Cling

Ya know, I’ve never enjoyed the cling. I don’t like it when the saran wrap clings, I don’t like it when the static clings and I certainly do not like it when people cling. I’ve always needed a lot of space. My loner qualities seem to win out more often than not. Which isn’t to say that I don’t get lonely, cuz i do. Hmmmm, the loner gets lonely. That doesn’t even make sense to me but it’s true and it happens. When you are a loner and you get pegged as one, it becomes more difficult to overcome as time goes on. For you and for them. People assume that you always want to be alone, and so do you, until you get lonely. Then you backtrack and think how maybe you could have put out a different vibe. Done things a little differently. I guess that could be applied to any way you’ve acted over the years. I’d like to think that maybe it can be undone. The thing is, at this point, is it too late?
Cling